What if it was easy?
on the hardest question of all
Since I last wrote to you, I have been haunted by the question: What if it was easy?
Unfortunately, the more I thought about this question, agonized over it, and attempted to embody ease, the more complicated life got.
To start the year off, I decided to flip this question to you all.
I asked folks what felt easy as an attempt to inspire us all to hold things a little lighter, with a bit more joy.
things that y’all are finding easy:
putting on my pearls
worrying, stressing, catastrophizing
saying I love you (if it’s in your heart)
deciding to go to work on climate every day!
moisturizing
losing time—morning crosswords that extend into the afternoon (a minimum of four a day), errands that should take ten minutes stretching to several hours, tasks that don’t really need to be done suddenly taking on immense importance
being obsessed with basil, cuddling basil, walking basil in his stroller, bringing basil to bars
eating breakfast
smiling
picking up the phone to ask my mom a question that becomes an hour-long catch-up
spiraling
the spiral jetty leaning into the slow winter rhythms that the early dark seems to invite
watching all the NYT Cookie Week videos and baking new treats (these Mexican Hot Chocolate cookies are sweet, spicy, and have a marshmallow surprise!)
buying another book when I haven’t finished the ones in the pile
laughing at the absurdity of it all, at the things that aren’t supposed to be funny, and the bad stand-up, and at the truly funny
learning that I can ask for help
singing
walking down the street with my 1-year-old. She waves and says “HIIIII” to lots of people. Watching her light people up with her huge eyes and toothy little smile is one of the greatest joys of my life. Sometimes people are lost in their own world, somewhere distant and dark, but she has no sense of who is ‘approachable’ and greets them anyway. People get caught off guard and end up smiling. And I’m just standing there like an idiot, feeling like I’ve done something fucking amazing.
playing with my dog
the dog in question going on curiosity walks—10 minutes to a full hour—to walk around my neighborhood and be aware of all the things I may have missed before, to be in touch with my senses. Birds of paradise beaming.
kissing
random acts of kindness with strangers: paying smiles forward; helping someone struggling with their bags up and down the subway stairs,
offering your seat on the bus, and if a kid is staring at you, interacting with them; complimenting someone in line behind you at the grocery store.going to the sauna!
standing on my mom’s vibration exercise plate
drinking 1 gallon of water a day out of my mom’s purple bottle with a straw
eating rice out of the rice cooker with a spoon
wandering into the kitchen while my husband cooks and taking a sip from his beer or slipping a roasted carrot into my mouth, tasting the charred sweetness. And later we might play cards, or cribbage, or watch a TV show that’s not too taxing, or listen to music in the dark, with the dog, the only light from a lamp we picked up in Red Hook years ago.
taking a hot shower
watching the hummingbirds eat nectar from the feeder
imagining the hummingbirds as fish swimming
saying yes when he asked to kiss me!
being in solidarity with a free Palestine. Always and forever. Free Palestine.
performing my rituals of swimming in the ocean 🌊 on Hunakai Beach
telling people I love them
hanging out with my sister
finding joy in little moments of connection—working on a puzzle with Justin, getting pictures of my nieces and nephews, talking to my brothers on the phone.
mending clothes
rolling the windows down and breathing fresh air
packing a suitcase
working — I love my teams right now
walking with my dog in the afternoon, which turns into a meander in the woods. Off leash, she runs with abandon. And sometimes, when no one is looking, I do too—jeans and Uggs and a quilted coat.
another are.na find walking the puppy
eating yummy food with loved ones
napping
distilling
making bread
weeding my garden
organizing in living rooms, kitchens, coffee shops, bars, workplaces, and farmers’ fields. The momentum we have now has the power to transform this time of crisis into a time where the seeds of liberation can take root
feeling the resistance becoming swift and massive
As we move into this new year, I’m looking for ease and less rigidity. Small decisions that don’t require armor.
Moments where you soften, and the world softens back.
Dance!
Love